And this conversation just came to be while I was thinking about, well, what the title says. Not guaranteed to be absolutely in character (or in character at all, actually), nor to be much related to the title. But hey, this is not a fanfic. Just a sort of cast commentary that I hadn't spent much time on. Not a proper commentary of specific episodes, but there are some non-story spoilers (mostly references) to movies and such. FWIW, I've seen up to episode 42 of Kamen Rider Wizard
when I wrote this, but I don't think I've put spoilers of major plot points in this (other than mentioning that the plot is back).
Anyway, in character or not, I like to think the conversation isn't too boring, but, well, I'm probably biased. Disclaimer
: I don't own anyone. Well, except me, who gets self-inserted occasionally. Not that I'm actually there (the characters just reference me, as in 'the (lazy) dialog writer').Legend
: Thoughts are in parentheses (). They might be acknowledged or not by other characters. But in general, thoughts are usually hidden from other characters. (This is not working like role playing, after all. Which is just as well. I don't know much about RP in any case.)
In any case, something in parentheses are something I want to write down, but don't usually want other characters to react to. Unless the character is Haruto, then he reads thoughts (or, more like, correctly interprets/surmises what people are thinking), and sometimes comments (in his own parenthesis -- he can't send thoughts directly to other characters. Can't make him that much of a Mary Sue ^^;).
Haruto: Hey, they said either you or Nitou need to be cut from the show.
Shunpei: How cruel. We are individuals, not something expendable.
Haruto: Tell that to our audience.
Rinko: Why don't we approach this systematically? Let's take a tally of useful things you two have contributed to the story.
Haruto: Great idea, Rinko-chan.
Shunpei: I think it's stupid. And how nonchalant you are with our fates.
Haruto: It's not me they are discussing of cutting.
Shunpei: Of course they can't cut you out. The show would end otherwise. But they think you are bland and boring. Too boring for a lead.
Haruto: I have subtlety.
Shunpei: Of a brick. You wouldn't say that if you really do have subtlety.
Haruto: What can I say? It's not easy to make subtlety come across naturally in written words, and our present dialog writer isn't up to the challenge. (Wrote you out of character, I hope.*)
(*rather than you being nasty to me on purpose, I mean. She thinks that our characters are too similar, but I didn't suspect that this would be the way she uses to differentiate us. Or not. Since I guess I've been a bit nasty to you first.)
Shunpei: She should just end this right now then. Our show isn't like whatever one anime she still maybe follows. We don't break the fourth wall here all that often.
Haruto: True. We don't even do that for our Hyper Battle Video. So, see you later.
Rinko: But the tally of useful things...
Haruto: The dialog writer decides it is too much work to look them up.
Nitou: Hey, Haruto. I'm more useful to you than Shunpei, right?
Haruto: Umm... if you want my opinion, you guys have just about the same usefulness to me. Good job with helping me with (sometimes difficult) Gates, Shunpei. And good job dealing with Phantoms, Nitou, when I am busy with the plot, which isn't as often as some people might like.
Nitou: Ah well. I still have around nine episodes to be more relevant than you, Shunpei. And the writers seem to like me lately, so...
Shunpei: Like I said, comparing/trying to prove our worthiness (to Haruto-san) is stupid, Nitou-san. Even stupidier than a theory than I am actually the white mage.
Nitou: Don't worry, the dialog writer already gives up on suspecting you for that role. You are not smart enough pull off what he does.
Shunpei: Not cunning enough, you mean? If that is the case, thank god. I would rather be simple than do something underhanded.
Haruto: I am happy with Shunpei the way he is. And Nitou? Letting recent events get to you much?
Nitou: What do you mean?
Haruto: You told off Shunpei. He didn't even say anything bad about you. (He said something unflattering about me, though.)
Nitou: Ah... My bad.
Haruto: And our show writers don't like you. That's why they feel the need to make you, a carefree person, into another one of those revenge-driven secondary riders who like to clash with their respective main riders.
Nitou: For your information, I'm not 'revenge-driven'. And count yourself lucky that I don't have any urge to fight you seriously, yet.
Haruto: Ah, thank you kindly for your consideration. For your information, I don't have any interest in fighting you at all.
Nitou: Good, since I'm busy. Our show writers are making me more relevant to the plot.
Haruto: They might want your second born child, or worse, your soul, in exchange for writing in more of your involvement with the plot.
Nitou: (Or they could take Chimera off my body. But then I couldn't be Beast anymore, so I guess not. Being a mage is the only thing that makes me better than Shunpei.) I'll take that deal. As long as they don't distort my original personality beyond repair.
Haruto: (Should I point it out to him that they could wait to take Chimera away after the story is all done? Nah. I really could use all the free help I can get** since plot has now been dropped in our laps.) We'll see how well that turns out. And now, without you around, we are out of funny man. Who am I going to snark at now?
**(Since Chimera might react...unpredictably and/or be uncooperative, if he found out Nitou's deal with the devils involved sacrificing him.)
Nitou: Well, you don't need to do that, do you? Your selling point is not snarking anyway.
Haruto: Really? Ah, I guess you're right. I'll just go back to eating donuts and failing to be mysterious then. Although now the writers all focus the story on you and kind of forget about me.
Nitou: Can't help you there. Ah well, I'll have to go chasing after plot now, see you.
Rinko: Come to think of it, Nitou-kun does have more arcs than you do, Shunpei-kun.
Shunpei: Aghhh. Could you please drop that already? Haruto-san says he is fine with the way I am.
Rinko: ...Okay. I have some work to do, so I'll be leaving now. See you all later.
Haruto: Now it's just the two of us.
Shunpei: Wh..what?! Where are Wajima-san and Koyomi- ?
Haruto: The dialog writer can't be bothered to write them in (she even forgets the honorific you use to call Koyomi). You forget they exist in the show most of the time anyway, so at least she's adhering to canon this time.
Shunpei: And writes you more and more out of character. I can't believe she likes you in the callous way she writes you.
Haruto: I told you she doesn't grasp the subtlety of my character. I shouldn't have to say all this to be understood.
Shunpei: That is true. I feel like she is super-imposing someone else on you. Someone more carefree and impulsive.
Haruto: (Carefree and impulsive don't equal callous. They don't equal loud either, but if the dialog writer wants to go that way...) Nah, don't think she's making me over as a copy of those loud-mouthed protagonists. I think I just speak my mind more here.
Shunpei: The loud-mouthed protagonists are your seniors, aren't they?
Haruto: Well, I've met only one of them, and that one is younger than me, actually.
Shunpei: You aren't too old yourself.
Haruto: He's still in high school.
Shunpei: Yes, I know. I've also met him, remember?
Haruto: No, you haven't met the high school one. But no matter, the guy is still loud. Occasionally meeting him in crossovers is fine, but I'm glad he is not a regular character in our show.
Shunpei: You get Nitou-san being loud here. (And perhaps me, since some viewers think Nitou-san and I are the same.)
Haruto: Nitou seems almost normal next to that guy. (And this dialog writer believes you and Nitou are polar opposites.)
Shunpei: You do have a point there. Anyway, I thought you've also met some other senior riders?
Haruto: In the new Super Hero Taisen movie, you mean? Dialog writer knows nothing of that movie (she doesn't want to get spoiled the way she did with Movie War Ultimatum), so I don't know anything about what happens there either, (nor who Toei could recruit to make appearance out of suit).
Shunpei: Well, that's fine. We are breaking the fourth wall as it is. In any case, I think you are right. The dialog writer is most likely writing you more direct since subtlety is difficult to show.
Haruto: Well, she did manage to write us (the characters she thinks are similar and seem to have nothing that would clash) arguing, so I guess that's not so bad a trade-off. Our relationship on the show is rather boring.
Shunpei: Can't be helped. I'm allowed no development beyond my arc showing that I am an ordinary person but you like me as I am. Not that I mind being ordinary (and being liked by you).
Haruto: That's the spirit. And now I think I'll go chase plot too. Can't let Nitou hog all the spotlight, after all. People might think they are watching Kamen Rider Beast
Shunpei: Ah, Haruto-san? You have to do Nitou-san's job for now. He has now neglected Phantom and Gate of the two weeks.
Haruto: Agghhh. Don't remind me. Where is that troublesome Gate again?