Been reading some fandom discussions, and feel like I'm an odd one out.
On shipping, specifically. I have come to realize that I don't feel that comfortable talking about pairing up characters, especially if their names are
put together as one name,
unless the pairing is for crack, then all bets are off
. Oh, I'm not against shipping, and in fact can be supportive of canon (or almost canon) pairings, but I notice that I just don't really have...something--enthusiasm is the best word I can come up with.
What I mean is, I am not a shipper. I don't go look for romantic relationship where it doesn't exist in canon. Yes, I think I know about subtext and/or UST, and guess I will count that if it's obvious, and not simply my own interpretation.
And I have to wonder...was it wrong for me to claim to be in fandom but had only casual interest in various pairings? Is there a place for me, who is more fascinated by interactions among various characters, among friends, among enemies, among in-betweens, without much romantic entanglement? And if there must be some romantic relationship, the more subtle, the better for me.
With all that said, I might have an even bigger problem. I suppose I might have misunderstood all along. What exactly does it mean to be in fandom? Is it participating in discussions? Is it writing fics? Is it reading fics? Is it translating articles/comics? Is it subtitling videos? Is it simply watching or reading or playing (if a game) canon source material? Is it providing access to scans or videos or songs/music or other media related to the series? Or is it something I usually do, writing thoughts (short or long depending on how much I can find to say) on certain episodes of the series?
Or you can skip all that. I think I'm not exactly comfortable with the word "fandom" either. I'm a person who is simply interested in this and that series, nothing more, nothing less. And yeah, I may call myself a fan, but I really don't think I do much of a fan thing. I'll answer if people come visit my journal, for instance, but I don't usually go out to seek other people on my own. That sounds like a selfish thing to do, but I guess I'm afraid of the unknown and prefer to stay in my comfort zone. I suppose me being painfully shy probably has much to do with that.
EDIT: Part 2
, more than half a year later.