In all the years I've sort of known this term, I admit I've never looked it up. I actually thought that Asami coined it (she seems the type to invent new words on a whim). Apparently, I gave her too much credit.
And that is a good point about not saying this to someone's face. I got the impression way back that doing so would be rude (well, as with most epithets, I suppose), but nice to have it confirmed.